Nasty Words

I warn readers that I am about to say several mean, nasty things and that I mean no offense by them on a personal level.

I hate the British. They drive me absolutely up the insane on multiple levels. I feel like a couple direct quotes would illustrate my problem; all taken during my layover in the London Gatwick airport.

Little girl sitting across from me:
"Dah-dy! Dah-dy!"
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"Can I wear this in the pool?" (small charm bracelet)
"Of course dear."
"Good. Because I want to look good."

At the airport bookstore:
"Would you like a bag? 6 pence."
"Uh, no. But could I borrow a pen real quick?"
"89 pence. Nothing's for free in this world honey."

On plane. Girl standing in aisle calling down:
"Cah-ly! Cah-ly!!! I'm so upset right now I'm about to have a fucking melt-down. I'll clean up my language soon but right now I'm fucking upset!"
(exclaimed as she hovered over a poor elderly couple desperately trying to sleep)

Old man sitting next to me, speaking to his wife:
"What a fucking stupid selfish cow."
In response to reading the newspaper headline, 67 Year Old Mother Dies Leaving Twins Aged 2, as wife studies Greek phrase book.

On the bus that took Kat and I from the London Stansted airport to the London Gatwick airport (a 2 hour ride!) at 4am, the driver gave us trouble about getting on the bus with our hot chocolates, said they were forbidden on board. He relented as we started chugging the hot liquid saying to just dispose of our cups at the end of the ride. Ugh.

Sometimes I feel like they try to 'out-American" us by being the loudest, most obnoxious, most Paris Hilton-esque, most unstylish people ever.
By first roomate is college was British and she was wonderful. My mother is a huge Anglophile and went as far to spend 6 months living in London. She loved it and it's the happiest I've seen her in ages. I think British humor is brilliantly awkward, 1960's Brit rock and punk is legendary. Coming from Germany where everyone is quick to be helpful and laid-back (yes, 'tis true despite common assumptions), to London where everything is an ordeal and nothing is done without expected compensation well, it just made me want to die--let's call it a slight case of 'culture shock'.