Greek Carresses

I've spent the better part of my 3 days in Athens lounging by the roof-top pool amongst young and topless French and German couples. I flit between the safety of the umbrella shade and the bed-like cushions in full sun, trying to even out my bikers version of a farmer's tan. The tops of my thighs, my hands, and the backs of my calves-go figure-are quite brown while my stomach is still pasty white. My foreign pool-side female colleagues bask uninterrupted in the harsh Greek sunlight, their nipples becoming a dark shade of coco instead of the pink they started began with. Their male counterparts sport small, solid colored manties.
I must confess that I checked out their bikini line, because surely, if I have to do summertime maintenance, then so do they in the face of such a small amount of Lycra. It turns out they do, at least the Donatella-Versace-dark Greek man sitting in front of me.

I did venture out briefly yesterday, determined not to be intimidated by the crowds and noise of Athens. I went in search of the little gelateria the receptionist referred me to and after finding it got two scoops. Bad idea. I'm a leisurely ice cream eater and in the Greek heat, this concept does not exist. By the time I finally chomped down on the last of the cone, I had dripped the chocolate hazelnut cream all down the front of my white shirt. I had quickly turned into the gouche tourist, only needing a fanny pouch to complete the look.

Another incident caused me to retreat back into my roof-top hide-a-way. I was absent-mindedly window shopping down a side street from the hectic Ermou shopping district--they even sell really cool exotic chickens! As I was gazing at some clothing a group of young boys passed behind me and the smallest one let his hand casually pass over my butt. Little punk. I turned around and raised my leg to kick him but thought better of it at the last minute. Ah, to be a light-haired, pale-skinned obvious foreigner in a Roman land; one of the reasons I vowed to never return to Italy without a tall strapping man to discourage such unwarranted caresses.